Kids & Weddings

Welcome to our very first Blog Hop for 2015!

This month we want to help you start the year off by getting organized as you’re planning your wedding or event. Get ready for some great ideas to help you reduce stress and enjoy the planning process as you move along through the blog hop. You may just be starting the blog hop or may have come from 40. Laurie Kuerlemann on Natalie’s Blog Hop. If you get off track at any time, the full lineup below will help you move along from blog to blog so you make sure to see and learn from all of the articles featured here today.

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Hey There.

I am not a wedding or an event planner.

I have planned ONE wedding 10+ year ago. My own. So, god speed, ladies.

I do, however, have kids. They are quite the handful.

I get dirty stares taking them into public places where it should be completely acceptable to act childlike. So, imagine the sweaty, itchy, neurotic mess I become when I envision my children having to sit in a completely silent church whilst a beautiful white-dressed "princess" {the 2-year-old equivalent of Bono} stands dangerously within reach of that glass of communal wine {the 2-year-old equivalent of paint}.

{Oh, those scenarios have never played out in your mind? Well, you probably don't have children.}

These are the crazed faces that can totally take your perfectly planned day off its rails.

Let's visit the angst-ridden tight rope that one must walk during the process of wedding planning that can only be referred to as:

"Children at major events that in no way were designed for young, small, noisy, and possibly poop-covered humans"

It's a working title.

There is one basic question to begin with as the bride {that's you, lucky lady}:

Do you WANT kids at your event? 

Here's the truth, no one is twisting your arm and if they are, cross them off your guest list {unless it is your soon to be mother-in-law because that is just not a good way to start}.

My hubs and I did not invite children to our big day. We were planning on a budget and wanted more cash for music and food. We also didn't know a ton of people with kids. It was an easy call. We did have family children IN the wedding and these kiddos also came to the reception {because we got to call the shots and loved having them there}.

Now, for the advice parts.

If you choose NOT to have children:

Did you think you were going to get out of having to plan for kids? Ha. That's funny.

Make it Clear. Address your envelopes and word your invitations in such a way that there is no misunderstanding: this is a "no kids" event. There are lots of elegant wordings out there that won't come off too harshly.

Don't forget your guests who may be traveling with kids. I'm not saying you should make an exception, but certainly collate and provide a list of possible caretakers in the area OR better yet, hire a childcare worker(s) for the wedding and reception times to stay at the hotel with the kiddos. If your guests are traveling 2000 miles for your wedding and can't bring their most precious cargo along to the big event, be a gem and take the time to do some legwork for them. Again, you don't have kids. Ask around. Churches often have childcare workers {with completed background checks} that they hire for Sunday mornings. Call daycare centers or ask the girl who works in the kid area at your gym {all will have had background checks - HOLLA!} If you just can't seem to make contact, try some of the online services - like Care.com


If you choose to HAVE children at the wedding and or reception:

During the Ceremony {and I say this in all serious} make like Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Elsa from Frozen - Buy gifts for all the little girls and boys, put them in cute baskets, and then "Let it Go."

Kids don't have a long attention span. Do you know what helps? Straight-forward, no-nonsense, Bribery. This is best accomplished in the form of a goodie bag or basket. Be sure to include:

Edible Treats: Gummy Bears or lollipops that can be shoved into their mouths mercilessly. You can also do healthier fruit snacks (mom will thank you), but do avoid chocolate (Mom will straight kill you with dagger eyes when she has to wipe down a well-dressed toddler with chocolate face, hands, feet...it gets everywhere).

Toy: This can be simple. A hot wheels car, a little tub of play dough, a kaleidoscope, a small plastic animal. You just want to make sure that it does't make noise.

Pipe Cleaners: These suckers are brightly colored and easily bendable. They give fidgety kids something to do with their hands. SCORE.

Coloring Book and Crayons: This is pretty self explanatory, but it keeps kids busy and quiet and engaged. You can even get some pictures of you and your fiance and the church and have a custom coloring book just waiting for them.

A Back-Up Plan: Sometimes you have a colicky baby or a two-year-old who is more of a bridezilla than your friend, Marcy {and you know how SHE was}. So, have a little mercy on your guests and see if the venue has a room that can serve as a "cry" room. A lot of churches have these already and they are life savers. If everything is going downhill real quick, mom or dad can scoop up their bundle of joy and make a graceful exit to an already designated, fairly comfortable locale. {Make sure there is good signage and have ushers inform guests with kids as to its whereabouts}

Now.....the Reception:

If it is a formal sit down dinner: WHY ARE YOU INVITING CHILDREN!? If you have little dinner guests, make sure that there are high chairs. Also, crackers, quiet games, and an activity place mat would be appreciated. Kids don't like waiting for their food. And like your Aunt Edna after a few drinks, they will let everyone within screaming distance know it.

If this is a more free-flowing event: Spoil the kids at your wedding with a little play area. It can be a simple kids sized table with books, disposable cameras, paper, crayons, cupcakes, candy, and other kid-friendly food. You can also lay down a beautiful blanket or rug and set toys, puzzles, and board games around it. This just allows them to have an area that is all their own....and it gives mom and dad an "out" if they are unable to entertain lil' Billy for another second. But don't worry, kids love the dance floor and loud music and cake. Your ceremony was probably their personal hell, but your reception is the BEST BIRTHDAY PARTY EVER.

{More Great Ideas}

I can't reiterate this enough: DO NOT STRESS . Something will go wrong that day. It will MORE than likely have nothing to do with that small {poopy} human who can't seem to grasp the concept sacred vows....and will most definitely have everything to do with that one piece of hair that is out of place or that the peonies are more Pepto in shade and less the desired blush color. You will have a meltdown at some point - just like the kids who may or may not be coming to your nuptials.

Happy Planning.

**Please take time to scroll through the complete list for a little special message from me**

The next stop is  42. Melissa Pepin on Natalie’s Blog Hop! Thanks for visiting and I hope to see you again next month!

1. Natalie Bradley at Natalie Bradley Events 

2. Katherine Shorter at Creating Awesomenessity 

3. Kristi Richardson at Bloomed To Last 

4. Chantal Benoit at Chantal Benoit Photographer 

5. Elizabeth Batte at plainjane designs 

6. Andie Freeman  at Andie Freeman Photography 

7. Brenna Fields Taylor at An Elegant Affair LLC 

8. Irene Tyndale at Irene Tyndale Events 

9. Sharon K Hyatt at Weddings with Sharon of Awesome Designs & Weddings 

10. Tessa Marie at Tessa Marie Weddings 

11. Peter Merkle at Chicago Wedding DJs 

12. Anshwa Lewis at SwaLaRue Events 

13. Deborah Ashe at Rev. Deborah Ashe 

14. Angela Christoforo at Elite Wedding and Event Planning 

15. Liz Coopersmith at Silver Charm Events 

16. Amber Peterson at Cheers Wedding & Event Planning 

17. Maggie Evans at Maggie Evans Designs :: handmade bridal couture 

18. N’neka Scruggs at Images by N’neka 

19. Kelly Snyder at Southern Charm Weddings 

20. Cindy Clearwater at Something Blue Virgin Islands 

21. Kimberly Parks at KP Photography 

22. Simone R. Ross at Lil’ Tux N Tiara’s Event Sitters & Entertainment 

23. David Osborne at Sound Insight Productions 

24. Nicole Hill at Flora Bond 

25. Shaun Cox at A D.I.Y. Affair Weddings and Events 

26. Katrina McCullum at Made of Honor Weddings 

27. Sandy Salle at Hills of Africa Travel 

28. Rachel Huntoon  at Ashford Manor Bed & Breakfast 

29. Daphne Simpson at Elite Design 

30. Kishana Highgate at Kishana Highgate Photography 

31. Loraine McCall at Mojica Photography 

32. Teresa Rhodes at Nearly Nesters  

33. Andrea Freeman at Andrea Freeman Events 

34. Nikki Michel at Ciao Bella Weddings 

35. Kelly King at Affordable Wedding Invites by Gossett Printing 

36. Christine Ringuette at Down The Aisle Wedding Planning & Design 

37. Myiesha Antwine at Kiss and Tell Weddings 

38. Ashley Rae at Ashley Rae Events 

39. Laurie Kuerlemann at Platinum Party Events Entertainment, Inc 

40. Lydia Wells at Writer Mom  

41. Melissa Pepin at Melissa Pepin Photography

Follow my blog using the link to the right hand side and you will be entered to win a set of custom coloring pages for your big day. One lucky winner will be announced January 26, 2015. If you don't win, no worries. Contact me if you are interested in custom coloring pages for your wedding - complete with coloring pages of the bride, groom, cake, and venue. MENTION this blog post for 15% OFF!

Lydia is a writer/illustrator/mom who in no way envies you in the planning process, but thank goodness for this informative blog hop. 

Shopping With Love {Part 2}

Today is my day to write for the 40-Day Noonday Blog Train {Giveaway}.

Here is the rest of my talk on Ethical Consumerism + My giveaway and how you can enter to win.

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On November 24, 2012 a fire broke out at Tazreen Fashions Factory in the garment district of Dhaka, Bangladesh.

On the night of the fire, more than 1,150 people were inside the eight-story building, working overtime shifts to fill orders for various international brands. Fire officials say the blaze broke out in the open-air ground floor, where large mounds of fabric and yarn were illegally stored.

But on some floors, managers ordered the employees to ignore a fire alarm and continue to work. Precious minutes were lost. Then, as smoke and fire spread throughout the building, many workers were trapped, unable to descend the smoke-filled staircases, and they were blocked from escape by iron grilles on many windows. Desperate workers managed to break open some windows and leap to safety on the roof of a building nearby. Others simply jumped from upper floors to the ground. 117 died and 200 were injured. {Thanks, NY Times}

A factory building collapsed in April of 2013 outside Dhaka, killing more than 1,000 workers. That building was constructed with substandard materials and in blatant disregard of building codes. The factory owners again told workers to return to their jobs despite evidence that the building was unsafe,

I highlight these two recent tragedies for one reason:

1100 people have died because WE wanted shirts that cost $10.

Bangladesh has more than 5,000 garment factories, which employ over four million workers, many of them young women. Bangladesh handles orders for nearly all of the world’s top brands and retailers. It has become an export powerhouse largely by delivering lower costs, in part by having the lowest wages in the world for garment workers. Garments constitute about four-fifths of the country’s manufacturing exports, and the industry is expected to grow rapidly. {Thanks Again, NY Times}

Changing the practices of the garment industry will take a mountain of people voting with their dollars to change such an integral part of the global economy.

BUT it has always taken a mountain of people doing what is right at the cost of their own welfare, good, or interests to affect change.

We don’t hear about these tragedies happening in the USA often. That’s because we have labor laws and unions. We’ve had factory fires and tragedies (the Triangle Shirtwaist factory fire of 1911 that killed 123 women and 23 men). These events became a catalyst for labor unions and worker safety legislation. We are very lucky to currently live in an era of our country’s history...where this is not an everyday concern for you or me or our husbands or our children.

What happened as a solution to US public outcry against poor working conditions?

Every problem or bad practiced was simply exported to another developing country. We ended slavery HERE but essentially enslaved thousands of others in their own homelands all in the name of "good business."

These jobs are the only jobs available for so many men and women (and children) and they are only available because there is a demand overseas for inexpensive & fashionable clothing...and because we choose to turn a blind eye to the plight of the oppressed.

And there is a better way.

There is a gospel-centered way.

Buying ethically is not just a social movement. It calls us to be fair and just and mindful and purposeful. It calls us to go without plenty so that others can have something. It calls us to stand up for the oppressed. To shine a light in the darkness.

I wish I could put it in the back of my mind and choose to see it as just a social movement, but Ethical Consumerism is a kingdom movement.

Jeremiah 22:3

This is what the LORD says: Do what is just and right. Rescue from the hand of the oppressor the one who has been robbed. Do no wrong or violence to the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow, and do not shed innocent blood in this place.

                               

Zechariah 7:9

"Thus has the LORD of hosts said, Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother;

Proverbs 22:22-23

Do not rob the poor because he is poor, Or crush the afflicted at the gate; For the LORD will plead their case And take the life of those who rob them.

Psalms 82:3-4

Vindicate the weak and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and destitute. Rescue the weak and needy; Deliver them out of the hand of the wicked.

                       

Luke 11:42

"But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.

The bigness and the enormity of social justice issues make them intimidating to us as individuals. I for one do not think that I am an elegant mouth piece for justice and change when I am elbow deep in dirty diapers and temper tantrums. But God has been very clear. He has never turned from the afflicted, the needy, the oppressed.

As a stay-at-home-mom, I feel like I am in a season where my children are my “ministry” and that I indeed will have to WAIT for any other, higher, calling - for these BIGGER things...And so I put these BIGGER things in the back of my mind. I discount them. They are not for me right now.

Proverbs 31:8-9

Open your mouth for the mute, For the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

Isaiah 1:17

learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.

I write today to tell you that as Christians {or as people who believe in human dignity and equality} we have a calling to the least of these. That calling is now.  

We cannot physically be on the ground (right now) to rescue a family out of a brick kiln in India; We cannot picket the front lines of a garment factory in Bangladesh; We cannot break into the brothels worldwide and rescue children from their traffickers.

But we can shop. We ALREADY SHOP. We can buy things. We can protest with our dollars and our cents. We can raise our collective voice...as consumers.

I think most of you do what I do. We work the coupon, we save the money, we make the most out of what we have. We make a lot of the decisions when it comes to when and why and how and where purchases for our families happen. That is a lot of power in a global economy when the only voice that matters is that of the dollar.

All of the sudden we can take consumerism that doesn't recognize the gospel nor the love of Jesus Christ...and we can turn it on its head! And we can purchase the things we need for the good of others.

It’s not charity...it’s purchasing with a conscience. It’s purchasing with a purpose. It’s shopping ethically - consciously choosing to do the right thing.

So what does that look like - being an ethical consumer?

1. It means buying less, but spending just as much.That sounds unrealistic, wasteful, and “not worth the trouble.” But in essence what you are committing to doing is trading MORE “okay” stuff for less “I love this!” stuff.

My husband and I have made the decision to no longer buy something JUST because it’s a “good deal.” In saying that I mean that we no longer ‘settle’ on something we don’t love, or that doesn’t fit perfectly simply because it’s cheap.

It means I don’t eat a lot of chocolate. I have changed my life to reflect what I can afford to buy (when I factor in the TOTAL cost of the good).

We can no longer justify buying LOTS of cheap goods on the backs of slaves, rather than supporting another ethically sound business.

It means I live with less - which is incredibly freeing.

2. It means that I do my research and find companies who have ideals and visions that line up with my own (Toms, Warby Parker, Seamly, Noonday Collection) ...and I support them. It means that in doing that same research, I have to walk away from retailers that turn a blind eye to injustice. Which is not a FUN thing...I really like OLD Navy and Target, but I can’t support them.

3. It means (sometimes) I buy second hand. If I am buying my clothes from the local consignment shop or the goodwill - then I am not feeding the companies that turn a blind eye to the complete disregard for human life in their overseas factories. Along these same lines, you can organize clothing swaps among groups of women that you know. Everyone coming together and exchanging gently used clothes for gently used clothes. Costing nothing.  

4. It means that my family and I save money differently. Do you know that millions of people around the world live off $1 a day? Many of these men and women do not have the ability to save money in a way that enables them to get ahead or invest or create businesses. Work is never steady and the money is spent on basic necessities as soon as it is earned. Many men and women have formed saving clubs (a community savings system that pulls community money to benefit one family at a time) or they apply for microloans (traditional loans are next to impossible for many of the impoverished to get). Did you know that you can invest in the LIFE of someone else for as little as a $25, no-interest microloan with a 98% payback rate? $25. That is equivalent to 5 trips to Starbucks...changing someone’s life.

5. It means that I am a mouthpiece. As most of you know. I am an ambassador for Noonday Collection {a company whose vision is to provide men and women paths out of poverty by providing dignified employment in...FASHION}. Noonday Collection works with Artisans around the globe and is CHANGING LIVES. One thing I am good at is being loud. Noonday Collection allows me a platform, to enter into peoples homes and share the stories of the hundreds of lives that are being changed through...work. Not charity. Not ministry...dignified work.

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So, Here is my Giveaway. I want you to go to Noonday Collection and read our Artisan Stories. Fill your soul with stories of redemption and second chances. Post a comment below about your favorite story...and you will be entered to win a $50 Noonday Gift Voucher. 

{Contest will be closed to entries 03/08/2014 @ 10pm MT}

Thanks for Reading & Best of Luck!

Don't forget to check out yesterday's Noonday Giveaway (and Tomorrow's). {wink}

Shopping with Love {Part 1}

Today begins a two-part series on "Ethical Consumerism." Today is a primer, if you will, and a basic introduction to my post tomorrow which is part of the 40-Day Noonday Collection blog train. A bunch of us ambassadors get together every start of a new season to spread the word, share our hearts, and host fun giveaways. {Check out my "Noonday Blog Train" Page for more details}

Anyhow. A few weeks ago, I gave a talk on "Ethical Consumerism" to a group of wonderful ladies from Ft. Collins, CO. It was a blast. Here is part one of that talk.

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I was born to be a shopper. Meaning that I was raised from a young age on a diet of eye-buying, Black Fridays, the day after Christmas, Presidents Day, Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day. You name it and I was shopping it. My mom could work a store. She would always find the best deal and she taught me and shopping became “our thing.” We shopped a lot. I have way too many childhood memories that take place in stores or malls or bazaars or markets or factory outlets.They are good memories.

And then I got married.

My husband and I lived below the poverty line for a good portion of our first few years of marriage. I did not get to shop a lot. My mom and I would still go shopping (her treat), but it became less of a regular thing and became a “when necessary” thing. When I did venture out to shop, my husband and I only looked at sales or clearance racks ONLY (out of necessity). To buy something at full price seemed really extravagant and wasteful. We might not be able to get something we LOVED, but we were able to get the things that we needed. We were being good stewards of our funds. Only buying what we needed and actively trying to get the best deal.

Then, my husband and I found a new church. It met in a downtown bar on Sunday evenings in Athens, GA. We walked in and they had little coffee carafes waiting on us. We grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down for worship. It was a good service and we found a few couples we knew afterwards and started talking. I distinctly remember one of the elders telling us about how the coffee was fair-trade.

The fair-trade terminology had been around a few years at that point. I knew Starbucks had a few fair trade blends and I knew there were some fair trade shops in town. But I also equated fair trade with EXPENSIVE and kind of useless. It wasn’t until we started regularly attending that church (who admittedly had a social justice vision) that I even knew what fair trade was. I was ignorant.

Fair trade can be defined as:

an organized social movement that aims to help producers in developing countries to make better trading conditions and promote sustainability. It advocates the payment of a higher price to exporters as well as higher social and environmental standards. It focuses in particular on exports from developing countries to developed countries, most notably handicrafts, coffee, cocoa, sugar, tea, bananas, honey, cotton, wine, fresh fruit, chocolate, flowers, and gold

{Thanks, Wikipedia...which is not a valid source, but will do just fine for my purposes today}.

So, what that definition is basically saying is in the fair trade movement we pay a higher price to insure that certain social and environmental standards are being met - whether that is paying a living wage or creating sustainable practices within business.

Looking at it from that definition (which is a good one), at that time in my life I didn’t have access to buy many of these things labeled “fair trade.” Not only that, but these goods are by definition MORE expensive...and not NECESSITIES. So, thinking that it was merely a “social” movement, I just kind of put fair trade in the back of my mind. It was a great thing for other people to do, but it just was not a possibility for me.

But we kept going to our church and having conversations about social justice. We learned about International Justice Mission and began supporting them. and through IJM our eyes were pried open and we had to stare into the injustices of the world - the plight of widows in Uganda, the orphan crisis, the global sex trade, modern day slavery.

But wait! Hey, Lydia. Stop! We were gonna talk about shopping and maybe mani pedis and frilly pretty things.

But this is where shopping gets ugly. It's where shopping got ugly for me.

Because it’s basic economics, right? I mean, businesses want to make the most profit. So, they manufacture a shirt. Which means that there is a cost for making that shirt. Factor in hours of labor, materials, advertising, health insurance, rent,electricity, water, maybe dental (if you’re lucky), and a decent profit margin. We (as the smart and frugal consumer) walk into OLD NAVY and buy that same shirt on clearance for $3.99. And at $3.99 that company is STILL making a profit. And the numbers do not add up.

So you think - Well, clothing factories aren’t in the USA. Most of them are overseas where we can pay less dollars and people can still make a decent living because of currency exchanges and different standards of living, etc. etc.

And here is where I have to stop you and tell you:

That shirt that you bought for $3.99 is really worth $40 and the the difference wasn’t made up by Old Navy’s shareholders taking a cut to their quarterly earnings…

the difference was PAID by somebody having to SACRIFICE their human dignity.

The difference was TAKEN from someone’s worth.

The difference was STOLEN from someone.

And I’m sorry to say, that you and I can never look at that $3.99 shirt the same way again. 

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{Until Tomorrow}