Don't Cry

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

Yesterday was a hard day. It didn't start out that way. It was a really great day. I woke up, felt pretty when I headed off to school, didn't spill coffee on myself in the car, enjoyed my students, went to a baby shower for a girl at worke, really enjoyed time with my colleagues, and went home to a GREAT husband.

Then I got this email. It stated that the pilot materials that I was told I would be using with my students this year were due - packed up, etc. in the office next Monday. Which means that starting next Monday, I will again be teaching with no materials. This sent me reeling. It shouldn't have. I should be more like the person who built his house on a rock....a little flooding shouldn't wreck my house. But it did.

I ran to the bathroom and sat in the bath and just cried. I mean CRIED. I think everything that has happened over the past year just came rushing back to me...and I was overwhelmed. I questioned God and cried to Him and asked Him "why?" several times. I asked about my babies, I asked about leaving my home, my friends, my family. I asked about why my husband still doesn't have a job. I pretty much interrogated God....and was met with silence.

In my heart, even as I yelled - I could see an image of my sweet heavenly Father holding me as I threw this tantrum. Hushing my cries and telling me it was okay. Eventually the still, soft voice whispered to me what I had known all along.

You were never promised comfort and "happiness."

You are extremely blessed.

You are being selfish.

God must love me a lot. He brought me to a place physically and emotionally where I could learn and grow...if I has stayed in Athens and been "happy" I don't think I would have ever been ready or willing for whatever God has in store for Matt and me. Praise be to God.