Getting into the swing of things

Most of you will probably respond to this post's title with a bit of an inquisitive eyebrow raise or possibly a bit of a sarcastic, biting chuckle...and I would too - from the outside.

fact of the matter is that I do feel like I am just now getting into the swing of being a stay-at-home momma. Technically, I haven't had to work since June 2011 - it's been a while.

For the first 3 months of my stay-at-home momma adventure, we lived in a camper and in a friend's basement during the summer. So, really, it was more like vacation. There was really no need for "routine" or focus aside from meals. Not to mention, my partner-in-crime was still unemployed, so it was FOR REAL vacation and all duties were shared.

The following 9 months were spent being a stay-at-home momma while temporarily living with my parents. Matt was working and traveling a lot, but my parents were there in the mornings, nights, and weekends - not to mention I was just a few minutes from my sister and ALL the cousins and a car ride away from the other set of grandparents and a plethora of friends who loved us.

Now, it's been 10 months since we move to Wyoming. I had to get into the swing of living in Cheyenne...the swing of having NO outside support (nearby)...the swing of being a mom of two...a mom of two during/after a traumatic injury...a mom of a TWO year old...the swing of wanting and actually pursuing my own little business...and the swing of really wanting to not be here. That's a lot of swings.

And to be honest, I have only really mastered "getting into the swing" of surviving. Buying the groceries, cleaning the house, bathing the kiddos, teaching them about Jesus. And I feel like the remainder of my life will be spent getting into a new a different swing, as I feel like my life and the dynamics of our family are constantly changing. I frankly have no idea if I will be able to keep up.
I sure hope I do. I wish I could take more joy in the ever-changing adventure, but mostly it is sadness.

Sadness and loneliness. A swing I will just never be able to get the hang of. I sure do hope that this phase ends soon.