That's right.

I'm singing it like Freddie Mercury up in this piece.

Who knew that mothering would find a bedfellow in all-consuming and ridiculous pressure. I mean, call me crazy, but who really wants to hang out with that guy?

I thought Mothering would hang out with a really mellow, hippie-sort who hugged trees and talked about cloud shapes. But. NO. Mothering is that crazy chick (you know the one) who likes the Type-A meglomaniac who works 120 hours a week and wears a power tie.

Enter: Pressure.

It's not just enough to be a mother these days. This is the era of the Mother AND." I'm am mom +  triathlete" or "I'm a mom + culinary genius" or "I'm a mom + the crack addict who invented Pinterest and posts her projects hourly."

So suddenly, my easy day at home with the kids making messes and memories and possibly macaroni art turns into a constant mind game of "am I making my kid retarded for life by not hand pulling all our pasta or stitching every single piece of clothing she wears from organic pieces of humane fabric or giving her sensory baths everyday that take a small army to assemble and execute." BLEH.

If my kid turns out "lacking" or "behind," so be it. She's going to have a happy mom.

Don't get me wrong. Do YOUR thing. Go running and swimming and biking in freezing degrees, wearing next to nothing, screaming to the top of your lungs about how you feel "ALIVE." Hey, you can even tell me about it over coffee and try to goad me into giving it a try. I'll politely smile and shake my head like I'm listening, but I'm not going to feel bad when the next holiday rolls around and I'm sitting on my couch, knitting it up like an old lady, and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy my babies playing.

The fact of the matter is that I'm surrounded by baby boomers' kids who are now having their own kids....and well, we were raised to be achievers. So we stress ourselves out trying to keep up with the mythical Joneses (jerks) or that couple from Young House Love. Guess what folks? Most of the people you are trying to keep up with GET PAID to do what they do. So to all the working moms or staying home moms or whatever mom you are...just be a mom. be happy. and stop freaking out about everything. Just love your kid.

Kick that sorry loser (pressure) out of your house and find a dirty 'ol hippie to hang out with. You'll wake up and go to bed a much happier woman.

Disclaimer: I adore the couple from Young House Love...I just cannot be them...it's physically impossible. For one, they are two people...and I am just one...but that's beside the point....moving on.