5.26.2014

Mind. Blown.

I recommend everyone just take their computer, tablet, internet router, and chuck them out the window. (Or at least box them up for a few weeks)

Stepping away (maybe not completely, but way the heck back) from Facebook and Email and Pinterest and Hulu was incredibly liberating...like forgetting your cell phone at home while out on a quick errand.

Suddenly, the only things "demanding" my time and attention were my kids (and several loads of laundry & dishes).

When the world isn't constantly calling to you...telling you that it needs a piece of you....there is suddenly a very whole and patient and giving person looking back at you in the mirror.

Quite miraculously, there is more of you to go around.

Not to mention, when you actually DO take the time to come back to the internet and all it's "glories," you realized that it's pretty bland, boring, uninspiring, and well...banal.

You feel slightly more confident - seeing as you have eliminated the majority of outside voices telling you what you should be doing.

Your eyes adjust to day light and aren't so bloodshot. You sit a little taller in your seat. Your neck doesn't ache at the end of each day. Your body quite literally shed a few of it's freakish mid-existence, technology-induced mutations.

FREEDOM

So, I come back to the land of the blog and implore you to close your computer, take the apps off your phones, stop looking like a mindless zombie to your kids, and LIVE.

I will continue to write - as I like to do it.

But, let me be at the bottom of your list...as I probably have nothing new to say and can promise you nothing overly entertaining.


5.05.2014

My Mind is Working...

Overtime a bit lately. My mind is working overtime. All the time. Non-stop. Never-ending thoughts and questions and it is exhausting.

I meet with a group of women and we read books. The latest being Jen Hatmaker's "7." We are walking through seven months of taking something away in order to GAIN life. Real life. Real awesome life and freedom.  I like this book.

We are currently in our media month. Which means we take away media. I haven't posted on the blog due to this fast of sorts and I am likely to post much less during this month. The time away from my technology has been eye-opening and has revealed so much to both my husband and myself...and it's only been five days.

As, I have fled my computer (and namely, let's be honest, the internet), I have run to the WORD.

More, I have noticed a very real thirst to STUDY the word of God and not to just read through it. I reached out to a few folks that I know who study the Bible and they gave me some resources to aid in
my quest.

Because, see, as a woman...I have never been taught to STUDY the Bible. I have never been shown the steps or the process. I have been given reading guides. I have been offered the chance to learn from Beth Moore via DVD. I have been invited to countless topical groups. I have never once been pulled aside and walked through what actually individual studying of the word looks like.

So, these past five days, I have been ravenously reading the word, as well as reading books written to help me understand what my personal study should look like. I've been reading overviews and commentaries. I've really been having fun and more often then not, leaving feeling refreshed, uplifted, and completely TINY, miniscule, and undeserving of God's mere notice or affection.

It's a good feeling.

It's a feeling that has brought about a sort of righteous indignation....an anger. Why in the world is there not more out there for a THINKING woman?

Maybe there is and I have just not been pointed towards it. Maybe it's my fault for not knowing where to look. All of these are highly possible and likely.

But let's face it. If a young girl walks into a Christian bookstore, what is she to find? Not a single thing that teaches her the discipline of Bible study. (I totally admit that surely there is something, but it's nothing that she will automatically have offered to her by our current Christian culture).

You know what my life has looked like in Christian book titles that were thrust at me?

You're God's little Girl (Be Nice), You're God's Princess, Kiss Dating Good-Bye and (Whatever You Do) Don't Kiss, How to be God's Princess While You are Waiting on a Husband, How to Be a Godly Fiance, How to Be a Godly Wife, How to Pray for your Husband, How to Make Sure your Marriage Bed is Everything God Wants it to Be, How to Be a Godly Parent, How to be a Better Mom, How to Pray for Your Kids....

Seriously.

Almost every book ever recommended to me (as a woman) focuses on my role in someone else's life. Who I am to someone else.

And in all honesty, most of these books are books of the "self-help" persuasion that have been repackaged with a cross on the cover and a few Bible verses and quack science facts sprinkled at the beginning or end of each chapter.

What about who I am to God? Because, I'm pretty sure that if I am digging into His word and listening to His voice and focusing on KINGDOM issues instead of MY issues, that my big 'ol first world white girl issues will fade and my eyes will be opened to seeing what my Father sees.

And right now, I'm pretty turned-off by what I see.

I want my daughters to READ and STUDY the word. I want my family to be like a seminary. I want us to be able to discuss theology and deeper issues than "So, I should kiss dating good-bye, but then kiss it hello again when I find my husband?"

Does this make sense to ANYONE else? I need Jesus...not self-help. Because it is pretty darn transparent that I cannot help this self.

Is anyone else hungry? Hangry even?