Eleven Years

Eleven years ago today...

A very handsome, curly headed 19-year-old boy knocked on my apartment door.

I was expecting him. See, earlier that day we had talked about "needing to talk." Not just any talk - the DTR {Defining of The Relationship}.

We had been on a few dates and had been shamelessly "fake dating" for MONTHS before that.

Fake dating (as defined by Lydia): Hanging out a lot, always in groups, and chatting about anything and everything while obviously having a possible romantic interest in one another.  Fake dating also entails being absolutely terrified to make a move that would change the label of said relationship from "friend" to "dating" practicing self-discipline and wisdom in truly taking a step back and prayerfully considering whether this is a person you could marry.

Aside: Fake dating is what I, Ladies and Gents, will encourage my girls to do. 

That curly-headed, clean-shaven fella walked into my apartment.

We sat down and talked...just like we always had. It was EASY to talk because we had been friends for a while. 

Nothing too romantic or soppy was said. That's not our style.

And I won't share any particulars because they are pieces of sweetness that I have treasured in my heart for the last eleven beautiful years.

But I will divulge that the conversation ended with

"I want to pursue this."
"I would like that."

It's burned into my memory and forever will be. It was the moment my husband chose ME. It is the moment he chose to pursue ME...and he didn't have to do anything, but be wise enough to take his time in asking and brave enough to ask when he felt he needed to. {Go'head Hubs} 

Best. Gift. Ever. 

Less Words Wednesday

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I've always liked being a little nut(s)

Dear Barnes & Noble:

Dear Barnes & Noble,

I've been shopping with you for years. I do love local "Mom & Pop" book shops, but as those are fading into the background of our society's cultural fabric, I have found my way to your front door on several occasions.

You have a killer kiddo section. I have killer kiddos.

It's a match made on a Tuesday afternoon when some poor soul has to don a Dr. Seuss costume and dance for the natives in heaven {cough}.

I've enjoyed coffee with you as I've perused your travel section and bargain-priced Dr. Who trinkets.

You've offered me comfort on a rainy day, solace when I need to clear my mind, and WiFi when I was a cheap college student who couldn't afford it.

But our relationship stops here.

I was once again wandering your aisles looking for some literary goodies as my husband chased my children after story time. I found my items, took my almost 4-year-old by the hand, and she helped me "check-out" as always.

My Big Girl is smart, independent, and she likes doing things by herself.

She's also observant.

Which comes into play when she innocently asked me "Momma, what are those girls doing?"

I could sense that something was off in her tone. I looked down and it smacked in the face.

Three naked women with their {there's no other word for it in this context} lady parts hanging out, hugging on one another and smiling seductively: Sport Illustrated: Swim Suit Edition

...at eye level with my three-year-old. The sexual objectification of over half the human population (which I have tried to shield her from) starring back at her- as I look on slack-jawed and enraged.

Thank you B&N for willfully assaulting the innocence of my child. You should be ashamed.

As a fairly obvious question: WHY?

Who is that display for?

Is it for the 3-year-old sized man who happens to want to grab a bit of soft-core-porn on his way out of the store?

Because as I see it. The "Swimsuit Edition" has become the "Birthday Suit Edition" and that filth needs to be burned put behind a screen on a high shelf in an area not frequented by children. 

As it was, I tried to flip it over...only to find an equally disgusting depiction of a woman. I then angrily muttered that there was "simply no escaping it."

To which your female employee embarrassingly hung her head and whispered, "No there isn't."

Just so you know, B&N, I responded to my daughter's question:

"Those girls are not honoring God and are showing us how little respect they have for themselves and other girls...like you."

And my response to your EXTREME lapse in basic judgement:

Sexual objectification is hurtful, detrimental, and damaging. See video below.

Until Never. Losing a customer.

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Check out this great Ted talk by Caroline Heldman on the dangers of sexual objectification.

Perspectives and Opinions

We as a people have lost the ability to actually have conflict...healthy conflict. In real life. And by this I mean actual discourse.

It's as though no one wants to actually say, "Hey, I disagree" or "Hey, that's not logical or "Wow, that is pretty wrong on a lot of levels" as an invitation for further discussion. We just want to tell people that they are wrong, but lack the conviction to actually have a discussion.

So, we engage conflict in funny ways or we do it super passive aggressively or super passively for that matter. We don't actually WANT to have a conversation where we are forced to be challenged or (God forbid) challenge others.

It's too much responsibility. It gets messy. And more often than not, it gets personal.

Well, I have an opinion. I express my opinion via this blog...which has like 17 readers...so, I'm not changing to world or anything. But I am expressing my opinion. It's cathartic. I get something out of it and I know a few other folks who enjoy reading what I write (Hi, Mom!).

I am a passionate person. I am an opinionated person. I don't apologize for it. I used to, but I'm a grown woman...and at some point in the past few years, I have felt a lot of freedom in being able to BE ME.

For some unknown reason, God made me this way.

It doesn't mean that I can't be gentle or understanding, but it does mean that when I see poor behavior in adults, I'm probably going to call it out. When a see something in our society that I don't agree with, I'm going to speak up. When I have an opinion on something, I'm going to share it.

I'm sure many of you feel (and act) the same way.

I want to have daughters (children) who are okay being themselves and who don't have to feel weird or odd or less...or like they are not worthy of forming or holding an opinion. I want them to THINK on subjects and openly have debate and discourse. These used to be activities that took place around the dinner table or in coffee shops (read: taverns) helping us hone our identities as people.

So, if something I write offends you - just tell me. I'm a big girl and you're entitled to your opinion (just like I am mine). It's one of the awesome things about becoming an adult - You now have enough life experience to form an opinion and to come at life from YOUR perspective.

And we all have different ones (perspectives).

So, we should walk through life expecting a clash in perspectives and inviting the opportunity to learn from one another.

Let's not shy away from being challenged or growing or sharing or debating.

I do apologize if any of my words have been harsh or biting (or maybe just too honest). Believe it or not most everything I write (be it a blog post, a letter, or an email) goes through a vetting, editing, and filtering process by people I love and respect and trust. They know me and they try to keep harsh and biting at bay.

So while I might apologize when a certain phrase or post is taken the wrong way or in a way that is unintended, I'm not going to apologize for my opinion.

Noonday Collection Giveaway {Winner!!!}

And the winner of a $50 Noonday product voucher is.....Erin (#1)

Congrats, Erin. You should be receiving your product voucher via email sometime tomorrow. Thanks to everyone who participated...and don't forget to keep the blog train rolling for more chances to win wonderful hand-crafted pretties.