Please, God...please

Today I am hurting.
My body aches and fights against me. Simple tasks have become overwhelming.
I'm so efficient and capable and independent and now, I'm nothing.
I limp to my destinations and I whimper in the most simple of moments and I am weak.
I don't know how to admit that "I can't" - I'm scared to death that those I am saying it to will not understand.
I need you.
I need healing.
I need you to come down on all of my life and take it.
I try to carry everything all the time and it's manifested physically into a broken back.
I don't know how to do it anymore.
I don't know how to make it through another day.
Each day becomes more and more unbearable.
I thank you for wanting to teach me.
I thank you for wanting to break me.
I thank you for the few bright moments you give me during the day that give me hope.
Guide my broken body to a place of redemption, refreshment, rest and healing.


  1. Thank you Lydia for sharing your prayer. Unfortunately for you and fortunately for them, most people will not understand. May you rest in the embrace of a God that hears all our prayers and is always good even when it doesn't seem like it. I pray that He does heal you. May God bring you peace and relief today.

  2. Wow Lydia, when I read this I knew I had some serious catching up to do on your blog.

    Very powerful prayer. Sounds like debilitating pain has taken you to edge of what you can stand. For the short time I've known you, I've pictured you as very capable, as well as someone who relishes her independence. This back pain, I can imagine, has forced a shift of perspective against your will.

    The pain clearly is very real in more places than just your back. I'm sorry. I'm with James and will be praying for you and Matt. Looking forward to hearing about how God works in your life during this time.

  3. Anonymous7:21 PM

    God loves you and is in control!
    He has won the battle!

    Blessed are all who wait for him!
    Isaiah 30:18

    God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

    I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. Psalm 91:15

    Thou has enlarged me when I was in distress. Psalm 4:1