Don't Cry

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa

Yesterday was a hard day. It didn't start out that way. It was a really great day. I woke up, felt pretty when I headed off to school, didn't spill coffee on myself in the car, enjoyed my students, went to a baby shower for a girl at worke, really enjoyed time with my colleagues, and went home to a GREAT husband.

Then I got this email. It stated that the pilot materials that I was told I would be using with my students this year were due - packed up, etc. in the office next Monday. Which means that starting next Monday, I will again be teaching with no materials. This sent me reeling. It shouldn't have. I should be more like the person who built his house on a rock....a little flooding shouldn't wreck my house. But it did.

I ran to the bathroom and sat in the bath and just cried. I mean CRIED. I think everything that has happened over the past year just came rushing back to me...and I was overwhelmed. I questioned God and cried to Him and asked Him "why?" several times. I asked about my babies, I asked about leaving my home, my friends, my family. I asked about why my husband still doesn't have a job. I pretty much interrogated God....and was met with silence.

In my heart, even as I yelled - I could see an image of my sweet heavenly Father holding me as I threw this tantrum. Hushing my cries and telling me it was okay. Eventually the still, soft voice whispered to me what I had known all along.

You were never promised comfort and "happiness."

You are extremely blessed.

You are being selfish.

God must love me a lot. He brought me to a place physically and emotionally where I could learn and grow...if I has stayed in Athens and been "happy" I don't think I would have ever been ready or willing for whatever God has in store for Matt and me. Praise be to God.


  1. Anonymous8:13 PM

    God loves us enough to let us scream and yell, and he holds us through it.

    What a loving, kind father He is and always will be! He loves you L. He is growing you for HIS purpose and His glory. Your are the King's daughter. He just loaned you to us for awhile, for that I will always be grateful!

  2. As mother Teresa said God doesn't give us much than we can't handled!!!

    I'm struglled whit infertility too, and I know the He have something greatfull for us!

    Trust on Him!!!!