For the Love of Sleep

For the past 18 days my children have been waking up obscenely early.

5am with a cup of coffee and some peace and quite is contemplative and respectable. 5am with toddlers is masochistic and unforgivable.

I find myself functioning in a two-hour fog while the girls run around screaming like coke-crazed-hyenas demanding their gummy vitamins, probiotics, and juice cups (I mean, their not demanding narcotics or anything, but my kids live for their daily supplements). Most days, I wring my hands at our family decision to make hot breakfast every day...as it actually has to be prepared. At this unspeakable hour, I would gladly give my children cocoa puffs for just a few more minutes of shut eye.

It helps that I happen to think they are cute. They look just like their dad.

I have no idea how in the world to fix this problem. I've tried keeping them up late, making them go to bed early, deleting naps, adding naps, noise machines, putting them back in their beds, bringing them into our bed, begging, pleading, bribing, weeping.

To. No. Avail.

I shall have to break them.

This week I shall be running my children into the ground physically and mentally. Like ponies. {disclaimer: I know nothing of ponies}

I shall take them for walks and runs whilst forcing them to do long division and sentence diagrams.

I will win.

They shall fall into bed every night being absolutely and positively spent. They shall sleep soundly until at least 6:30am - whereupon, I will gladly make them pancakes or oats...whichever my little ponies request.

For the love of Pete!

No comments:

Post a Comment