I heart parasites

Have you ever had lice?

Most of you would say "yes" to this question, I think.

Lice is a common "sickness" that one will find at most elementary schools. These little vermin hang out in hair and on clothing and are transferred via contact. Also, Little kid hair smells like Johnson & Johnson's - so, one can see the reason behind a louse being so enthralled with the hair of the innocent. These little suckers are usually attracted to clean, straight hair - and in no way serve as a reflection on one's hygiene or lack there of.

So, why am I so interested in lice, as of late? Well, my school released a letter yesterday and we officially have a case of lice at our MIDDLE SCHOOL. We apparently heard this information second hand, but took the proper precautions. Why a parent wouldn't inform us is beyond me, but to each his own.

I read up on offensive and defensive plays that can oft be used to defeat the louse.

1. Listerine - that's right, the acid you gargle with that makes every inch of your mouth wish it were dead...it kills lice...it would probably kill an adult gorilla if left to soak for 2 hours.

2. Vineger - apparently a vinegar rinse helps to release the louses grip on the hair shaft - making for easy removal. Ummm...don't get me wrong, but if someone decided to pour vinegar on me - I would let go too.

3. Hair spray - apparently, the hair spray "dirties" the hair shaft and the louse has nowhere to grip.

4. A good blow-out: Blow drying your hair can help eliminate a louse - in that it burns the little guy alive. (DUH)

I'm sure there are more "remedies" out there - but I must confess that in any of these situations, I (like the louse) would get the heck out of Dodge.