11.15.2007

It's a Good Day

"Don't bring me bad news, no bad news, I don't need none of your bad news today.
You're a sad little boy - anyone can see, you're just a sad little boy - that's why your carrying on that way. Why don't you burn it all down, burn your own house down, burn your own house down, try to cure your own disease. And leave the rest of us, there's a lot of us, leave the rest of us who want to live in peace, to live in peace."

These past few weeks, a very good friend of mine had entered a photography contest. The prize being an ipod nano. She took a really cute picture of herself "longing for an ipod nano." I was in the picture and was very proud of my friends beautiful shot. I was thrilled when it made the final three and came down to a vote-off.

We had so much fun with the contest...we were telling to people to go to the blog and vote....I even got all my students to vote. It was exciting.

Until last night.

Last night was the last night of voting...and people got really ugly. One person stated that My friend's picture was nothing but "3 fat girls and was not appealing to look at." Then folks went kind of crazy...including me. People say things on a comment board that they would never say in person. Case in point, me - last night.

I'm recovering from an eating disorder. I have good days and bad days. Yesterday was a good day. And I got angry...and I mean, ANGRY...almost a kind of righteous indignation...because in my head I knew I was a normal weight...some would say thin. But, when I read that comment, I looked back at the picture and heard, "You do look kind of chubby...you'll never be thin enough...but, you could come back to me and show them all how thin you can get...show them how disciplined you are...come back to me...I will make you beautiful and no one will ever hurt you again."

Maybe no one realizes how hard I have fought for my current mindset. Maybe no one will ever understand the battle I have fought, the battle I continue to fight daily....but I will be damned before I let anyone come in and steal my victory. Last night...for the first time in a long time, I stood up for myself and I told some folks exactly what they could do with their ipod nano.

The above quote is what I have to say (more eloquently) to anyone who comes against me....It's by Patty Griffin and it always makes me feel better (I've been singing it in my head).

To my enemy: God has brought me from the depths - you and your words have no power over me. So stop wasting your time and get behind me - I have a battle to win.

2 comments:

  1. Good morning, Lyd--
    Thought I'd catch up with how things are with you before I start my morning.

    Thanking God for your very personal victory....our strength really does come from Him, in every way.

    Hugs to you both today!
    Aunt Collette

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  2. I'm so sorry Lydia for those hurtful things that were said. Untrue!!!!

    UNTRUE!!!

    We are in this world, and we will forever be fought against by the enemy. Please don't give up. Realize how much you are loved.

    Your sister who loves you and thinks you are stronger than you realize,

    Beth

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