Christmas is my favorite holiday by far. I have memories of sleeping under the Christmas tree trying to catch a glimpse of Santa, big family breakfasts, waking up to my parents singing carols, and yes, even 24-hour drives across the country in order to surprise family (at my parents' whim). It has always been a time of excitement, childhood fantasy, miracles...and a little magic.
The last two years, Christmas has lost it's magic.....please, don't misunderstand me here. I still believe in Santa and I still see the miracle of Christ and marvel in wonder at its beauty.
My husband and I have spent 3 Christmas seasons married, sadly, each becoming more and more drained of it's Christmas wonder. Traveling here and there, sprinting across the state.... we spend so much time away from our home that Christmas has become a chore, lonely, and unfamiliar. Combine this with law school and the demands and strain that it puts on life and you can picture our current state.
This year, as I write, I look around my house. No garland, no wreath, no lights, no tree, no nativity...a pretty magic-less Christmas. A big part of me wants to cry and scream and fight and be angry about my loss of Christmas - how it is continually being stolen from our little family. But, I recollect and realize that I still have my family - I still have my husband - our marriage has not splintered (as it easily could have) under the law school strain and we are still very much in love.
So, I'll sacrifice a tree and some garland this year....and revel in a magic-less Christmas with a wonderful husband.
So glad to know that while the magic of Christmas may be void...at least temporarily....that you're still reveling in your sweet marital bliss! =)
ReplyDeleteI guess this would be a good time to say(though, I know you know full well) that all good things come with sacrifice and, Lord willing, one day, after this hard, grunt work is over, you'll both make up for all those lost Christmases! =)
Love you cous! (that is, I'm really trying to show you that I do...=)
Merry Christmas,
Heather
I think I can identify with you this year, Lyd....I haven't done any decorating down here this year, (except at church), because Alicia is flying into TX for a week and we have decided to do it there. Consequently I have felt like a grinch up until this last week, when I started baking Christmas cookies for the church outreach. I plan to put up a tree when we get out on Monday night, and Lish will arrive Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteWhile some people wouldn't dare spend Christmas anywhere but in the comfort of their own home, I have found over the years, having traveled sometimes to be with close and extended family, that the memories we made were SO worth getting out of my own comfort zone! You are showing a great virtue....flexibility...and soon law school will be over and you can "nest" a little more. Matt has got to be proud of your support through it all. You are sooooo loved and wish I could give you a squeeze. Please make sure you give out lots of squeezes for me when you see those darling nephews, Derek & Beth,and your mom and dad. And one to Matt, of course! Family really and truly is a wonderful thing!
Love ya,
Aunt Collette
Yeah, it's our first Christmas together and we don't have a tree. We're not going to be at home on Christmas, plus I was in the throes of a final stretch that comprised of seven monster papers and five finals within three weeks. No time, no energy to shop for a tree. Pretty much worn out until the past few days. We put up the nativity and the Bulldog Santa though!
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